GROCERY LESSONS I LEARNED TODAY:

If you are getting items of any quality, don’t get options. One cheese. Get one kind of cheese. You love that cheese. You make that cheese your bride and you sob and you get into bed with that cheese and you do your duty because the vows have been read. If you marry dill Havarti you cannot commit cheese bigamy with sharp cheddar.

It costs too much.

It costs more than you could ever imagine.

thedanaaddams:

littlekristoff:

Just- ok I’m serious watch this right now trust me.

No, seriously, watch this. It’s not what you think, it’s a collegehumour video and it is INCREDIBLE, HAHAHAHAHA.

(via gemstone-enemas)

Tags: video

A lot of my friends ask to touch my head. I just stand there and get stroked for five minutes. It’s a free massage.

(Source: kirstendusnt, via lunsfuhd)

catchaglimpseofalleble:

kazard:

residentfeline:

how do cats even work

Cats:
A cat can jump up to five times its own height in a single bound.
The little tufts of hair in a cat’s ear that help keep out dirt direct sounds into the ear, and insulate the ears are called “ear furnishings.”
The ability of a cat to find its way home is called “psi-traveling.” Experts think cats either use the angle of the sunlight to find their way or that cats have magnetized cells in their brains that act as compasses.
One reason that kittens sleep so much is because a growth hormone is released only during sleep.
A cat has 230 bones in its body. A human has 206. A cat has no collarbone, so it can fit through any opening the size of its head.
A cat’s nose pad is ridged with a unique pattern, just like the fingerprint of a human.
If they have ample water, cats can tolerate temperatures up to 133 °F.
A cat’s heart beats nearly twice as fast as a human heart, at 110 to 140 beats a minute.
 Cats don’t have sweat glands over their bodies like humans do. Instead, they sweat only through their paws.
The claws on the cat’s back paws aren’t as sharp as the claws on the front paws because the claws in the back don’t retract and, consequently, become worn.
Cats make about 100 different sounds. Dogs make only about 10.
Researchers are unsure exactly how a cat purrs. Most veterinarians believe that a cat purrs by vibrating vocal folds deep in the throat. To do this, a muscle in the larynx opens and closes the air passage about 25 times per second.
A cat almost never meows at another cat, mostly just humans. Cats typically will spit, purr, and hiss at other cats.
A cat’s back is extremely flexible because it has up to 53 loosely fitting vertebrae. Humans only have 34.
Some cats have survived falls of over 65 feet (20 meters), due largely to their “righting reflex.” The eyes and balance organs in the inner ear tell it where it is in space so the cat can land on its feet. Even cats without a tail have this ability.
A cat can travel at a top speed of approximately 31 mph (49 km) over a short distance.
A cat’s hearing is better than a dog’s. And a cat can hear high-frequency sounds up to two octaves higher than a human.
A cat’s brain is biologically more similar to a human brain than it is to a dog’s. Both humans and cats have identical regions in their brains that are responsible for emotions.
And that’s how cats work.

Cat Facts

catchaglimpseofalleble:

kazard:

residentfeline:

how do cats even work

Cats:

  • A cat can jump up to five times its own height in a single bound.
  • The little tufts of hair in a cat’s ear that help keep out dirt direct sounds into the ear, and insulate the ears are called “ear furnishings.”
  • The ability of a cat to find its way home is called “psi-traveling.” Experts think cats either use the angle of the sunlight to find their way or that cats have magnetized cells in their brains that act as compasses.
  • One reason that kittens sleep so much is because a growth hormone is released only during sleep.
  • A cat has 230 bones in its body. A human has 206. A cat has no collarbone, so it can fit through any opening the size of its head.
  • A cat’s nose pad is ridged with a unique pattern, just like the fingerprint of a human.
  • If they have ample water, cats can tolerate temperatures up to 133 °F.
  • A cat’s heart beats nearly twice as fast as a human heart, at 110 to 140 beats a minute.
  •  Cats don’t have sweat glands over their bodies like humans do. Instead, they sweat only through their paws.
  • The claws on the cat’s back paws aren’t as sharp as the claws on the front paws because the claws in the back don’t retract and, consequently, become worn.
  • Cats make about 100 different sounds. Dogs make only about 10.
  • Researchers are unsure exactly how a cat purrs. Most veterinarians believe that a cat purrs by vibrating vocal folds deep in the throat. To do this, a muscle in the larynx opens and closes the air passage about 25 times per second.
  • A cat almost never meows at another cat, mostly just humans. Cats typically will spit, purr, and hiss at other cats.
  • A cat’s back is extremely flexible because it has up to 53 loosely fitting vertebrae. Humans only have 34.
  • Some cats have survived falls of over 65 feet (20 meters), due largely to their “righting reflex.” The eyes and balance organs in the inner ear tell it where it is in space so the cat can land on its feet. Even cats without a tail have this ability.
  • A cat can travel at a top speed of approximately 31 mph (49 km) over a short distance.
  • A cat’s hearing is better than a dog’s. And a cat can hear high-frequency sounds up to two octaves higher than a human.
  • A cat’s brain is biologically more similar to a human brain than it is to a dog’s. Both humans and cats have identical regions in their brains that are responsible for emotions.

And that’s how cats work.

Cat Facts

(Source: caturday, via yoccu)

GUESS WHO GOT A BETTER JOB.

THIS GIRL.

Tags: WHOO HOO

Things that are saddening: flipping through old sketchbooks, remembering the bygone time you were actually inspired to make art and practiced it so much you finally achieved Advanced Technical Bad levels.

radtracks:

rasputin // boney m

ra-ra-rasputin
russia’s greatest love machine
and so they shot him til he was dead

fucking best song ever; no one will ever convince me otherwise

(via xenontrioxide)

I was mostly not annoyed by a Steam-Powered Giraffe song. I don’t know myself anymore.

What’s next? I listen to Train without compulsively snapping the neck of a helpless woodland critter?

I love using max level characters to get up the lowbies.

MY LEVEL FIVE CRITICALLY HIT AND FINALLY DID MORE THAN ONE DAMAGE.

TWO. IT DID TWO WHOLE DAMAGE.

mrmanager:

(Source: monettes, via yoccu)